I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
