how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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