i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
