went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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