Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
