yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I have tasted many bathrooms
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
