So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
