So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
