the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
