Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
