How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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