I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
