I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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