Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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