hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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