That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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