My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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