people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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