can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
How external is "for external use only"?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
