i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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