So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
