He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
