how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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