i think my mom watched the whole time
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
