ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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