Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
