just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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