I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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