Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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