their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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