Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
