His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize