I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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