sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
