im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
