i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
