I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
