i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
