I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
