you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
