Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
