You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
