her vagine was all disorganized.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He shit in the fireplace
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
