my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
