you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
