Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
