This beer is not sobering me up at all
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
