I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Edward fifth and chaser hands
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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