Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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