Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
