I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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