I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
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