Christians are straight up FREAKS
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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