one two three fourrrrnication!
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize