She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize