you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
