You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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