am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Randomize