first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
