Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
