Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
