Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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