Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize