yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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