yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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