her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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