At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
