I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
