lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
