you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
