i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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