Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
