Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize