I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
