Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
