PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
